Whispers

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

sarah beth has slept quite a bit today - not much awake time. we did see her eyes a little bit, which was a blessing. her whispers are becoming softer, and sometimes it is impossible to know what she is saying. she looked more pale today, the dark circles under her eyes a little more pronounced. her pain medicine dosage was being increased again. being moved during her bath bothered her still, but she seemed peaceful when we were there. kathleen told me this evening that julia had been reading more of your emails to sarah, and although her eyes were closed they were sure she was listening. thank you again for sharing your hearts with sarah beth and with our family.

please keep praying for sarah beth - for her pain to be under control, and for the Lord to keep any moments of anxiety and fear under His control as well. it is precious to be having these moments and days with her. we all know that they are gifts. but i think the reality of the circumstance does sink in more each day. i don't mean to sound as though i don't believe God could heal her physically at this point- there is no doubt that He can. but it doesn't look as though that is what He intends. the blessing of still having sarah with us is mixed with the grief of watching her endure any degree of suffering and of knowing what is coming, seemingly soon. it hurts to be losing her - we are human, we love her like crazy and don't want to be without her. but at the same time, we do not want her to linger in suffering. God's timing is perfect - not always understood, but perfect nonetheless. when it is time, He will say so. we need to pray for the grace to endure it. to hold to the faith in God that we've clung to to this point. we aren't without hope. because of Jesus we will be with sarah beth again.

I Thessalonians 4:13-14 (The Message)"And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don't want you in the dark any longer. First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus."

our friend leeann reminded us of a blog entry sarah made after our sweet erin adkins wilson went to be with Jesus:"My heart is heavy, but at the same time comforted knowing where she is. I asked someone the other day why we had prayed so much for her and it kept getting worse. Then I was asked a question....what is God's definition of healing? Is it healing in "our" terms (restored back to a normal healthy life) or healing in God's terms (maybe His choice of healing her is to have her come home)."maybe you're asking the same questions. maybe this will help answer them.none of us are perfect. none of us are immune to grief. this family is just choosing to trust God and walk through the grief with Him. He won't leave us to do it alone.

with our love,
leigh ann