Breaking Hearts

Thursday, March 18, 2010

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something stange were happening to you, but rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.....So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." I Peter 4:12-13,19

mark called us a little before 5 this morning to say that sarah beth's breathing had changed, becoming more labored. our family again spent the day at her bedside. her pain is well controlled. she has had a fever today. she had brief moments of (very groggy) wakefulness earlier in the day and was able to speak about how she was feeling. as the day went on that was no longer the case. sarah beth is no longer responding to us. i do not want to describe all of the signs her body is giving that tell us she is leaving us. but the time appears to be very near. each of us have been able today to be with sarah. these moments have been precious. so precious.to be honest, those are words that i never expected to be typing. i'm not the only one - a few of us spoke of this today when we were together. we have fully expected the Lord to come in and fix sarah beth. to heal her here on earth. to do something "big"...but i've been thinking for some time now that God's idea of "big" and mine are often very different. it becomes more and more obvious that the Lord has been doing something bigger than we could even imagine with His willing sarah beth for years now. told her the other day that she has done more work in Jesus' name while lying in a hospital bed lately than many people have done their whole lives. that's being shown in the number of emails that you are sending to share what sarah's cancer journey and faith in God have done in your hearts and lives. now i will not stop watching for God to heal her until i know that she has drawn her last breath. He is able. for many of us our prayer has been that if He does not plan to heal her physical body that He would let her have peace soon. that He would allow her to be finished with her work and be done with her current suffering. even so, we trust Him and trust His timing, even when we have no idea what could possibly be worth what she's enduring. but the Lord is GOOD. psalm 106:1 says "Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

from sarah beth, august 13, 2005:"God has stripped me to the core and is molding and shaping me according to His purposes. I have to say this has been the hardest trial I have experienced here on this earthly life (except for my grandmothers tragic death in 96), but I am learning how to be "held" in Christ. I learned something today in a conference that I am attending. "You will respond to any storm the way you have been trained." I am so thankful for my relationship with Jesus and to know that by His word, I have been and am learning how to walk a life like Christ. Believe me, during trials, it is very hard to trust Christ. We will experience trials at some point during our life here on earth that will shake us and test our faith. There are times when it is all we can do to "stay above the water". I know....I wouldn't have made it had it not been for the countless people praying on my behalf. I can't express my gratitude for all of your support, but please know from the bottom of my heart that I am very thankful."

we are very thankful too.

with all our hearts.

with our love,
leigh ann